My Little Spoon
by SantittanyForever
Summary: Short Alex/Piper drabble.


Alex takes a deep breath, trying to quell the rising feeling of panic within her. She is overcome with emotion. So much is happening, clouding her mind, choking her. She's normally pretty good at putting on a brave face, acting like nothing can hurt her. But now things have changed. Piper might go back to Larry. And she doesn't know if she can handle that. She slouches on her bunk, trying to think of a way to distract herself. She thinks back on something Nichols mentioned a few weeks ago:

"Y'know, anytime I feel down, I write a poem. Helps get all the feelings out, makes you feel more relaxed, you know? I know some people think poetry is for pussies, but it really helps."

Alex falters for a second before reaching across and grabbing the pen and paper from her bedside desk.

She begins to write…

_I am being ripped apart _

_destroyed_

_broken _

_torn by these passions these demons that reside within me_

_I cannot even explain_

_cannot fathom why they must suffocate me pulling me under until I am drowning in my own breath they grasp me tendrils writhing snaking in and out fixing their unbreakable hold until I can move no more_

_I am bound, struck down by these forces, forces I have yet to understand, to work out_

_they take me hands greedy grabbing down into that place that dark place where nightmares are a reality and no one can save me from the monsters that are out for blood _

_for my soul_

_and I cannot run for how can I run from my own mind? _

_tainted splattered with evil thoughts and black smoke it haunts me sometimes pulling back but not entirely not enough for me to feel safe it is always there _

_lurking _

_lingering_

_just waiting for the right time to strike_

_and strike it does _

_I am once again bombarded riddled with these thoughts these inexplicable emotions that make me feel utterly insane I do not know where these thoughts have arisen from yet I feel as though they've been with me the entire time they just hadn't found that spark_

_that trigger _

_until now _

_dark thoughts angry sodden with guilt regret _

_they circle round and round in my mind vultures preying on a helpless soul I try to run to extract them from my mind force them out but no matter how hard I try they cannot be banished _

_I scream sob cry out for help but it is all in vain for no one could save me from these torments_

_how can they when I am the only one who can see them _

_hear them_

_feel them? _

_But there is a light_

_a silver lining_

_a beacon of hope;_

_Piper._

_She gives me strength_

_makes me see the good in myself_

_makes me appreciate all the good in the world_

_that I had forgotten about_

_until now._

Alex smiles, reading over the worlds scrawled on the page. Nichols was right; she does feel better. Lighter. And as for the demons she wrote about, they are being kept at bay by Piper's calm smile and the way her eyes light up when she sees her; the happiness she ignites within Alex without even knowing. But she knows, she knows it won't be long before the demons in her mind return. Claws sharp, tearing at her mind, unrelenting, teeth snapping, voices loud, boisterous, jeering.

But she tries to rescind that thought, for now. She focuses on the light she can see, now that the dark has temporarily lifted; she focuses on the soft trickle of Piper's laughter, the blinding beauty of her, the vibrant colours of the world around her. She thinks about how her heart races when Piper holds her hand, how butterflies explode in her stomach whenever they make love. And she feels as though maybe, somehow, she could find a way to escape the demons, to exorcise them from her mind; and perhaps then, she truly could find a way to be happy.

She doesn't know if it will happen anytime soon, but she knows that as long as she has Piper by her side, she'll be okay. And she is determined to win Piper back. Because she loves her more than she's ever loved anyone, and she needs her. They need each other. They're like two mismatched pieces of a jigsaw puzzle; they might not fit perfectly, might clash at times, but ultimately, they are joined in their hearts.

Alex reads over her poem one more time, before poking her head over the wall and checking for Piper. At the sight of the blonde's empty bunk, Alex scurries over and tucks the poem under her pillow. Then she darts back onto her bed, awaiting Piper's return.

* * *

_Several hours later…_

"Alex?"

"Hnng."

Alex is roused from her sleep by a soft voice, a warm hand resting on her stomach.

"Alex."

The raven-haired woman squints, breath hitching as her eyes meet Piper's, who is leaning over her, a small smile on her face. Alex sits up, brushing her hair out of her face.

"I got your poem."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. It was… I loved it."

Alex blushes a little, ducking her head.

"I'm glad you liked it, babe."

She lays back on her bunk, opening her arms, an invitation Piper gladly accepts. She lies next to her, shuffling over until they are pressed together, wrapping her arms around Alex and nuzzling her face into her neck.

"Mhmm." She sighs contentedly, before craning her head up slightly and planting the sweetest of kisses on Alex's parted lips.

Her eyes slide closed, cherishing the feeling of her velvety lips. Her arms snake around her, pulling them even closer together, resting her forehead on Alex's. Her breath catches in her throat.

"You are so beautiful."

The words ghost across Piper's lips, barely even a whisper. But Alex hears, her eyes softening, lips quirking upwards in a small smile as she speaks:

"I love you, Piper."

The blonde's heart skips, spluttering, as she struggles to maintain her even breathing, to no avail. Alex giggles, sensing Piper's struggle, and pulls her closer, softly kissing her lips once again, her touch soothing.

Piper relaxes in her embrace, feeling safe, secure. She feels herself begin to drift into a light slumber, just enjoying being in Alex's strong arms once more, but before she is entirely taken over by the caressing drowsiness in her mind, she leans up, her lips grazing the shell of Alex's ear, and whispers:

"I love you too, Alex."

* * *

**Just a little Alex/Piper drabble! Hope you guys enjoyed it :) Sorry I've been so MIA lately, university has been insane. But I will try to post things on here more often when I get time, I promise.**


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